tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66813701342554029472024-02-19T00:40:53.954-05:00the brown + blues of thingsthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-87955001502503137932012-04-18T03:28:00.000-04:002012-04-18T03:28:08.652-04:00words to carry. 4“Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” -Oscar Wildethe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-31749639563762197422012-04-12T00:37:00.004-04:002012-04-12T00:38:13.940-04:00words to carry. 3"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." -johnny burgessthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-48748998414299117942012-04-07T11:15:00.000-04:002012-04-07T11:15:03.873-04:00choosing for me.today finds my mind aloof, more than usual. after resting for near 11 hours + waking up at 6am this morning, I'm feeling a mixture of refresh-ness + a tinge of air of mental limbo. think of that moment when you are walking around somewhere with no direction or purpose. yeah, something like that. either way, i'm catching up on yesterday's thoughts about an interview I went to. in comparison to many previous tries, I got to say that I was the most confident I ever been in an interview. i felt relaxed, no pressure. i was able to show the kind of person i am, my experiences, + what i can bring to their company. i must of really left a good impression on the general manager because he told me that he was interested in me join the staff
so why am i not hip hip hoorah right now? because there was one little catch: there wanted someone that can work full-time + also be available a majority of nights. i thought hard yet quick about was to say, knowing that nowadays I dedicate my monday, tuesday, wednesday, + thursday nights to taking at least 10 dance classes as training for myself. would i sacrifice my dancing for stable employment + finances? then a quick flashback of me working at sunglasses hut, stuck in a kiosk all day making good money but not having the time to do what I truly desired to do. which is funny because the main reason I got the job was so I can invest in my passion + be able to afford to go to class...
i chose this time around not to give in + fit myself into their time. too many times i let myself agree to work anything + any time + in the end I don't get to benefit myself the way I want to. what's the use of working everyday if it doesn't help get you where you want to be in the long run. its almost like winning the lottery + even with all that money at your fingertips, you still can't buy or obtain the one thing that will make you happy.
in the end, the general manager gave me his number so I can think mote about it. he noticed how much dance meant to me + said that he didn't want me to commit to the job then have any resentment or spite because I missed on dancing. I thanked him for his time + left, holding tangled + missed feelings. i'm abit ugh-gy because i was so close to getting a nicey nu job. but i'm but grateful because i have a good sense of myself + know what i'm going after in my life, however the road i personally chose. changes. chances. choices. its all crazy/beautiful.
i wonder... have you ever had to make a choice like this? let me know, + til then...
soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva,
the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-76107279937305816532012-04-05T15:40:00.000-04:002012-04-12T00:40:07.787-04:00work is working me right now.there are those times where things just seem to push + pinball you around without a care. people serve you with mistreatment, almost as if they woke out of bed with the intention of making life harder for you. it just makes you wanna scream why... why?
well, right now i don't wanna raise my voice. i never was one for an argue, but none the less. all I can think of right now are three things.
1. i been through worse, so i can get through this respectfully + with my intregity intact.
2. as thankful as i am to have some kind of flexible employment in this time + age, this is not the place for me to be staying around for much longer- yet alone for the rest of dis lifetime. something is gonna shift.
3. when i get to where i'm gonna be at, when i'm doing the thing i truly love + live for + making a living sharing my passion, i will remember the moments like this + be thankful for everything i been through, because somehow it helped me for the better.
i wonder... anyone else having job issues? are your employers making your life hard or putting you in a place of inconveinence? how do you deal with it? why are you staying? do you want to leave the job behind? do you have bigger plans beyond your current job? let a brotha know, + please pray for a brotha too. til the next time...
soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva,
the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-14911696153518439712011-07-11T15:42:00.002-04:002011-07-11T15:44:40.540-04:00words to carry. 2“Remember that feeling when you were a child dancing and why you loved to dance. As long as you remember that feeling, we'll be all right.” -Robert Battlethe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-8506905851228156352011-07-11T09:49:00.003-04:002011-07-11T23:43:18.166-04:00mics + moves.last night found me at java monkey, a nicey lil coffee shop in decatur that hosts a free open mic every sunday. it was a spur of the moment kinda of thing to go, but im glad my brothas + me went. i havent been there in ages but I always digg the atmosphere, very laid back, a nicey space 4 a mental free-for-all by lyrical means. being in the mist of all these poets + listening to their stories (ranging from simple "I can't live w/o ya" to "your pregnant stomach scares me " to "I dont wanna be your *bleep*-in friend".) made me wanna get back to writing even more. goodness knows I still have a few unsaid words... we will see sooner than later.<br /><br />oh, + just to say: if you never had a freestyle rap + dance session up + down the street at night, you havent lived. gotta love my crazy beautiful brothas.<br /><br />-soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-15047478048889224312011-07-10T12:48:00.005-04:002011-07-11T15:42:14.721-04:00words to carry. 1"So often we build castles with moats and demand that others earn the right to enter; "Pursue me, Convince me, Deserve me", turning love into a trial, because we don't believe that loving us should or even could be, easy. Relax, get out of your own way and admit that loving you is the most natural thing in the world, and let the ones that love you... simply Love you." Rikki Beadle-Blairthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-68459178621432206622011-07-09T16:53:00.002-04:002011-07-09T17:08:06.389-04:00all that i can say... doo do doo do doo do doo.its raining + somehow i have found my way back over here. well credit due, my sis chris have led a brotha back in, but im not saying anything just yet. but since im here, i might as well say heylo.<br /><br />it surely has been a good minute since i let anything off my mind on here, a thing that i figured would happen cuz i always end up taking "long term vacays" from blogging. so much has happened, much as changed. maybe with that alone could give me reason to come back again. but if you know a brotha by now, its not a promise. lolol either way, I jus wanted to say heylo, + God bless ya.<br /><br />-soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, 3rdtWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-49750822963073397702009-11-26T03:57:00.005-05:002009-11-26T04:39:17.344-05:00it begins to tell 'round midnight, or 3am.lately i been getting back into one of my chronic habits that i dont want to keep, a tendency to stay awake for no particular reason into the edge of nighttime. i think i been up til about 3am either wide awake or half gone out my mind from the lack of sleep for the past 3 days. yeah, this needs to stop. a brotha got to have his handsome rest (stop laughing chrissy).<br /><br />i dont know what it is, but all i know is at the moment... well, for the past 2 weeks, i been missing my sunshine. his phone been cut off for about 2 weeks + thats was our main, if not only, means of communication. he can still receive texts from people, but he cant respond, + he cant send or receive calls. so i end up texting one sided conversations to him. + yeah i know, why dont i email him? facebook? myspace? twitter? *laughs* well, he only got access to the internet while he at school so that is just as good as his phone right now. im used to hearing his voice several times thoughout the day + just hearing the guy smile over the phone. now its been about 51 hours since the last time i heard him. yeah, i count stuff like that. thats what a lonely heart like mine do sometimes... im about to drift. night night.<br /><br />-soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-12469184236424230052009-11-24T02:17:00.006-05:002009-11-24T10:52:12.623-05:00"but i'm going on..." i got to...<blockquote>"I’ve seen it with my own eyes<br />How we’re gettin’ otherwise <br />Without the luxury of leavin’<br />The touch and feeling of free is <br />Untangible technically <br />Something you’ve got to believe in<br />Connect the cause and effect <br />One foot in front of the next <br />This is the start of a journey. <br />And my mind is already gone <br />And though there are other unknowns<br />Somehow this doesn’t concern me.<br /><br />And you can stand right there if you want<br />But I’m going on <br />And I’m prepared to go it alone<br />I’m going on<br />To a place in the sun that’s nice and warm<br />I’m going on<br /><br />And I’m sure they’ll have a place for you too..."<br /><br />"going on"|gnarls barkley</blockquote><br /><br />ever since i heard this song, i have added it to my personal life soundtrack. i also brought it as a ringtone. so if you stand near while someone is calling me, you probably heard these lyrics pulsating out my pockets. i love this song so much because it constantly reminds me of my passions, my loves. the dreams + hopes + wishes i wrote about or whispered in my head to myself. it reminds me that they are actually something i can obtain, it can be my actaulity. it can be my life. i just got to strive for it.<br /><br />i remember a quote that said "A journey of a thousand leagues must begins with a single step." i understand + believe that. now theres another that talked of how "the first step is the hardest." in my case + with my experiences, its the 3rd or 4th or 5th step that trips me up. for instance, i been wanting to be a better dancer, more stronger, more cleaner, more versitile, more skillful- i desire to be the best i can be. i been making that 1st step, going to classes, asking for help, practicing + perfecting. but along the line somewhere, i always fall off track. i start to miss class, forget about practicing on my own, + i always end up not having time to continue on. its almost as if i have to give up at times to either issues beyond my control or to my own weak focus. im trying hard not to blame it on a fluttery "gemini complex", but i dont know.<br /><br />all im sure of is today, at this moment, i got to shift. i have to grow. my hopes are getting to the point where i cant deny it + dont want to keep thinking about how life could be. i got to make this happen...<br /><br />-soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-12241093309227343602009-07-26T13:45:00.006-04:002009-07-26T15:15:21.397-04:00sweet bitter thrillsweet bitter thrill<br /><br /><br />In less than 6 hours,<br />I proven how insane I could be<br />To throw caution to the side +<br />Fling through corkscrews, loops, + dives.<br />Hands up, eyes wide bright,<br />Yelling with all the power + joy<br />Of a coaster junkie wild child <br />That’s surrendering himself into the rush willingly.<br />Let the butterflies fly free from my stomach<br />To the top of my lungs as I watch the earth above me<br />Spin out of my control.<br />Ponder if this lap bar can keep my twig of a body<br />From being hurled mercilessly from the train<br />Into the roof of a Florida skyline<br />+ plummet 120mph into the next door water park.<br /><br />That would be the fyeness.<br />They should make a ride like that. <br /> <br />I live for the tinge + how it crinkles up my blood<br />Right when the coaster car tilts towards the lake’s surface<br />+ catapults over the awing eyes of fellow thrill seekers,<br />Bag holders, Chicken Georges +Georginas,<br />Probably thinking “Who is that screaming like Mariah Carey?”<br /><br />I have a high pitched manly shrill, that’s all.<br /><br />Yes, take me to flight.<br />Dangle me over 250ft of track.<br />Slam me without care until I can’t feel the electric pull of my<br />Arm hairs standing in unbelievable shock.<br />Thrill me baby, rock me to a nirvana of adrenaline<br />Because in those short 6 hours,<br />I drifted to a sweetest high.<br /><br />+ later that same evening,<br />After 36 minutes + 15 seconds<br />I realized how weak I could be<br />To shatter my face + let my heart flow a stream of lonely tears<br />At the understanding that I had to repeat those words on the phone again.<br />“I miss ya baby.<br />Good night.<br />I’ll see ya sooner than lada.<br />Go ahead + dream.<br />I’ll meet ya there real soon…”<br /><br />Then you reply with words of your stretched out, longing arms<br />+ a bittersweet farewell as well as<br />A promise that I’ll hear your voice again in the light of the next day.<br /><br />I couldn’t find the strength to push the END button.<br />I didn’t want to go through another night apart by hours,<br />Separated by state lines + measures of days + days + days<br />Turning into endless text questioning of<br />“wha ya up 2?”, “how work goin?”, “havin a great time?”.<br />But none beat the scariest three words I come to<br />Close my eyes when it comes to spill across my tongue…<br /><br />“I miss ya“<br />After we pick “ennie mennie, minnie moe” choose a spot +<br />Off we go to some random adventurous sightseeing.<br />“I miss ya”<br />After we done ventured out through city streets<br />Under electric starriness to the pulse of Atlanta nightlife.<br />“I miss ya”<br />After we explored trails along the hills, cuddled on sides of<br />Bridges + water fountains, under trees + on benches.<br />“I miss ya”<br />After we re-remember how so sublime it feels when we<br />Come together at the finger tips + tender lips + passionate hips.<br /> “I miss ya”<br />After you nearly had me on the brink of fulfilling my goal of<br />Going streaking through the Olympic water fountain rings.<br />“I miss ya”<br />After I tingle in my cheeks at the snug hum of you singing<br />“…still there’s no place I’d rather be, cuz nothing really matters to me…”<br />“I miss ya”<br />After I take another look at your picture + imagine back to the<br />Another evening I was granted a chance to look into your eyes,<br />Even if it was for such a short time.<br />Every little thrill lasts such a short time<br />+ I dread how this bliss could be so cruel,<br />Toy with my eyes this thought of pure forever in pleasure<br />Only to blink +see its time to leave you.<br />“I miss ya”<br />After all been joked + said over phone lines<br />+ the lone company of silence we keep while afar starts to converse<br />of the good times only us 2 can birth within each others’ presence.<br /><br />Yes, I feel so good when you just stand in front of me<br />+ I can speechlessly look at God through you.<br />To be in the same space as you is an intense zero g <br />Weightless effect for what going on for near seamless moments<br />But damnit for having to come back down to earth…<br /><br />+ that’s why I live for the rush of you baby<br />Because after those 36 minutes + 15 seconds on the phone<br />+ another extra 4 minutes + 19 seconds after I called back to<br />Hear your voice 1 more time,<br />The excitement will subside<br />+ a thrill junkie like me just can’t survive on down time for so long.<br /><br />072-52-009|dWjbthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-4641736032456092012009-07-23T13:53:00.008-04:002009-07-26T14:32:14.919-04:00dream vacay, thrills hurray!, + a lover away...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC54UuKaN3xDhvukm4gvqApFBxbey6x-2RlJG9Tj5nFtBRJndmWJPO-Os4oeKhUYVRSePuHPqodhTEby0uVTJZ6FMPBjwql8fB8GzHlO77mxzrm7YdrTk6pbX4aQZCB9sCRQRMt5E32waf/s1600-h/0720090927.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC54UuKaN3xDhvukm4gvqApFBxbey6x-2RlJG9Tj5nFtBRJndmWJPO-Os4oeKhUYVRSePuHPqodhTEby0uVTJZ6FMPBjwql8fB8GzHlO77mxzrm7YdrTk6pbX4aQZCB9sCRQRMt5E32waf/s200/0720090927.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361735649234973026" /></a><br />there is something about orlando that holds a dear place in my heart. my auntie has a time share down there in florida + my family been taking trips down there every summer ever since i was a little boy. each time we visited, i would always get this sense of magic + wonder. it would start while im riding down the road, looking out the rental van at the flying clouds exploring the open blue sky. the anticipation bubble up as we would drive past billboards of new attractions to see. my eyes would take in everything as i munch on the fried lemon pepper chicken my grandma would make us for the ride down. then, when we arrive at westgate, our time share, it just clicks that i escaped from my normal- well, kinda normal life. im back to being a giddy 10 year old again. the grin effortlessly appears on my face, i lose my worries + just think "... YAAAYYYY!!!!!" lol <br /><br />really, i love orlando + im thankful that i been able to experience it with my family. God knows i have too many memories i can recount on the rediculious- naw, redunkulious crazyness my family goes through. + of course, this year has not been nothing short of zany. me, my mom + sis, my 2 little cousins, my auntie, + miss nancy, a friend of the family, has been tripping + wilding out all over the place.<br /><br />oh, another reason i love orlando: THE BOMB-ASS THEME PARKS!!! ohjeezy, a roller coaster lover's dreamscape, i swear i could get orgasms from the rides down here. this year, we went to sea world which has the brand new flying roller coaster, manta. on a flying roller coaster, you get in seats where the harness holds your chest + legs comfrotablely as ya ride beneath the track. you feel as if your are literally flying through the sky. the fyeness!!! <br /><br />oh, if you ever went to six flags over georgia + rode the superman: ultimate flight ride... ohmyjeez. manta kicks superman's ass.<br /><br />1st, the themeing was on point. while you are waiting to board, you get to see a variety of stingrays, manta rays, + other kinds of tropical fish. then the ride itself... man, it was crazy! me + my cousins were screaming our butts off. lol here's a view of the ride.<br /><br /><object width="445" height="364"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BolCQDIqCFM&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BolCQDIqCFM&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="445" height="364"></embed></object><br /><br />...the fyeness.<br /><br />anyway, i really been enjoying myself down here. well, except 1 thing. today is me + my baby's 1st month anniversary + we 6 hours away from each other... *frowns a little* we been missing each other much. its strange how we keep thinking about each other so much more as our distance apart is farther. guess absence do make the heart go fonder. all i know is that im about to celebrate with my lovely when i get back to decatur.<br /><br />well, im about to get back to the activities. i got to cherish these moments before i be back trapped in my kiosk. lol i wonder, did you or will you go on vacation this year? if you havent or not going to yet, what would be your dream vacation? where would you go? who will you bring with you? what will you see? let a brotha know so i can start planning my travels for next year! lol lada days, wish you were here!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeCH7yUZ6jYPtY5jhydOCjL3Ou_4xTcsiBldwWS4dgH93EzVKIxH0NUmpQEx8F-0Q3M3ZUkwmOYmiXwEmdq0Pb56tKOurOMtlzVrAB_lUO0aI_siA-7eXDmJSESE0RysEh_5nkAOqs_VxC/s1600-h/0720091355a.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeCH7yUZ6jYPtY5jhydOCjL3Ou_4xTcsiBldwWS4dgH93EzVKIxH0NUmpQEx8F-0Q3M3ZUkwmOYmiXwEmdq0Pb56tKOurOMtlzVrAB_lUO0aI_siA-7eXDmJSESE0RysEh_5nkAOqs_VxC/s320/0720091355a.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361734998618348402" /></a><br />soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-51202159056669778032009-07-15T10:58:00.001-04:002009-07-26T14:31:28.786-04:00dreaming after wakingdreaming after waking<br /><br />i woke up to sunbeans flowing through my window, + i swore my 1st thought was that your warm smile was rising beside me. how i opened my eyes + parted my lips in sweet joy, feeling glowy, star special, so schoolboy giddy. im trippin', but i love it how i walked to the kitichen for my rice krispies + immediately tasted the apple pie on your breath from the other night + almost dropped my milk. <br /><br />im somewhere inbetween my place + here with an sunni anjel in a memory where its always raining but i never feel a frosty chill. i just keep wandering back into the ease of your eyes + lose myself into an alternative groove, somewhere where i run into traces of your presense + your hand in mine are felt even closer... + im holding myself tighter in my empty room as i read your texts... + im thinking when will be the next time i wont wake up alone + still be dreaming of you...<br /><br />071-52-009|dWjbthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-26711380305949423732009-07-13T13:40:00.000-04:002009-07-13T14:23:23.277-04:00texting random thoughts.ever since i upgraded + got me a new phone in june, i been typing- texting- whatever; i been putting down little random thoughts in my notepad. some are sweet + simple: <br /><br /><blockquote>if ya r an inch away from the bus stop, the bus driver will believe ya 2b non-existin + zoom pass ya wavin hands.</blockquote><br /><blockquote>its sad almost everyone thought ciara look ridiculious on the bet awards, sounded out of tune, + was confused at who she was at the beginnin of her performace. sadder tha i agree. well, she tried.</blockquote><br /><br />others are a little more close to home with experiences of myself + my friends:<br /><br /><blockquote>i wonder if anyone else undastands we all hurt + tha maybe we r dealin w/ the weight of our own baggage.</blockquote><br /><blockquote>im grinnin uncontrollably + it was from the simple whisper of ya name crossin my mind...</blockquote><br /><br />there has been 1 in particular that i keep coming back to on several different moments because it feels so true. at least, in reference to myself:<br /><br /><blockquote>...the words we give each otha r mostly 4 our own usage, yet the easiest advice 2 give is the hardest 4 ourselves 2 follow.</blockquote><br /><br />i want to know have anyone else felt that way? you talk to a friend, a family member, a stranger, a puppy, whoever or whatever in the world you communicated with; you let them know how you feel about their situation/action/feelings/thoughts/wishes + in the back of your head you say to yourself "i need someone to tell these words to me". you reflect back on your experiences + wonder if you should take a step in a new direction or caution yourself from something troublesome. i wonder also, had you ever NOT follow your own advise + wish you did? let your random thoughts fly...<br /><br />-soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-73710493812599675752009-07-06T10:47:00.000-04:002009-07-06T12:23:48.940-04:00lettin' go!... on my way to work. ugh.i just woke up a while ago with the sunlight reaching through my window + brushing my cheek lightly. i took a look outside + the scene looked so inviting: an open blue sky with skims of clouds swimming above + the birds flying from trees to flowers over streams of concrete + steel cars. i was ready to explore. my skin was craving to feel the daylight envelope me in its warmth. i was ready.<br /><br />but then i remembered that i had to wash + iron my clothes so i can get to the bus stop in time to start my 1 1/2 hour commute to work where i stay enslaved, standing in a 10x10ft circular kiosk for hours at a time selling $200 sunglasses to people who demands a 80% discount, trys on every pair in the store then decides to "think about it" + never return, or have faces that are "rilpey's believe it or not!" worthy. ohthejoy. ahh well, guess thats how it goes for the moment. would be nice to pretend today that work was just some old boring high school class you coud easily skip from, but i know better. my hours will count on that check i will be getting so... where's my tie + my black dress socks? i gotta get a move on.<br /><br />but for the ferris bueller in me + anyone else that rather not go to work today, this song is for us... <br /><object width="340" height="285"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hlNQ6YkYyZ8&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hlNQ6YkYyZ8&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="340" height="285"></embed></object><br /><br />-soulfuly yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-62284352792255895592009-07-05T14:15:00.000-04:002009-07-05T15:42:18.174-04:00just a few little bitty changes.salutations! naw, i never left. just the usual 2 million years absense due to busyness + lazyness. but things have been happenning. a lot. lets see if i can give out a quick update...<br /><br /><ul><li>i been blessed to find not just 1, not just 2, but 3 JOBS. im a sign spinner (go youtube if you have no idea what it is. the best way to understand it is to see it.), a survey analysis recruiter/interveiwer (basically, im 1 of those annoying people that stop you in the mall to give ya a survey.), + i am a sales associate at sunglass hut international (need those new prada aviators or those chanel shields? i got ya!). so needless to say, i offically now have an income. I AINT BROKE NO MORE!!! *smiles*</li><li>i really gotten a sense of my spirituality these past months. + its kinda crazy because... well, thats a long story for another day but to cut it short (+ im trying chrissy, im trying!! *laughs*), my past with religion been one with struggle + confusion + hurt. but im starting to understand. i been happier than i have been completely with Him for a long while. its deep. again, long story for another day.</li><li>i turned 22 on june the 8th. whoo! i didnt do much that particular day (i actually worked), but for some reason the whole month of june felt like a celebration to me. from trips to florida to just riding the train on a sunny day, im so thankful i been able to experience all these wonderful things. oh + yeah. i did it. i went to a mc donalds + climbed my ass all up + through the playpen. 22 years old + i still act like im 12. gotta love it.</li><li>i never planned on it happenning, but im back in a relationship. + its been a wonderful 13 days so far- yeah, we do week anniversaries! *laughs* we both are big old kids enjoying our time + company together. im thankful for my "anjel". </li></ul><p>thats most of the big things things thats been going on. of course there are some moments inbetween (trip to ft. pirece, fl, buying condoms for my 15 year old cousin, my auntie naye naye's 80s themed party where some big 35 year old lady was bouncing in a split, falling asleep on the train, gettin hit on by random white girls at the mall, me almost throwing a rack at a customer, making midnight trips to quik trip for shushies, dancing all night + all day, running through fountains, watching my other sister out-do my mom in doing the "stanky leg" properly, having random people throw objects at me, conversing about the importance of pretty underwear, court citations, people losing money + ids repecitiously, death sprinting around atlanta...), + all of these times just makes life more interesing each day. what a crazy/beautiful wonderful world.</p><p>-soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWin</p>the 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-79500085451692668412009-01-09T16:26:00.000-05:002009-01-10T22:03:46.585-05:00im gonna hope i do something big like its 2009.wow... i aint been on here for a little while. i would say that its because i been uber busy running, chuckling, + grinning from one thing to the next. i really would because in a way its true. so much has went down since mid-december, but jeez i know the dealio. my lazy bum self just hasnt got on here + typed my heart out. maybe its the kick-back, lay-back holiday effect on me... naw, im just a lazy bum at times + thats got to cease this year.<br /><br />you know where this is about to lead to. yeah, yeah its new years. well, 9 days past of new years, but we in the new year none the less + mostly everyone is all on the whole "its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me" state of mind (excuse me if i got the lyrics mixed up. i love that song though.). i sort of gave up on that whole idea of a brand spanking new year brings forth the magical power of simple, constant growth + easy, simple change. just because we switch that last yearly digit up one notch does not mean that everything will be different + new under the sun. some things dont change overnight or over years. well, at least not with just new year hopes alone.<br /><br />even though i do bump away the thought of making resolutions, i am dreaming for some changes. the list in my brain is miles long + world wide believe me, + most of it is me. i still need to sit down + actually write it out, but i havent done it yet because either my mind is shooting off of 8 different thoughts at once or my body is moving to 3 places at once or IM JUST FRICKIN' LAZY AT TIMES!!! yeah, something must be done because i know that there is more to my life than where im at right now. i can literally see that shit clear as the letters on my keyboard. well, dont count the Q button, theres some gunk on there. i need to scratch off. ewww... umm anyway, i need a change from this cycle i been circling around for ages + i guess thats why that one midnight 9 nights ago seem so promising to me + a billion more. it says thats we starting anew, its a clean canvas to etch the view of our lives however we want to. i just need to pick up my freaking brushes + paint instead of letting it gather dust. lol well, heres the the new year.<br /><br />oh crap yeah. dont laugh, but happy belated holidays, merry belated birthdays, happy prelated mlk day in case i miss it + it be belated, happy belated new years- wait, does that even makes sense? oh whatever. happy happy joy joy yall. lol<br /><br />soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-86728095200599198662008-12-17T14:51:00.000-05:002008-12-17T16:43:37.967-05:00"im bout to go twinkletoes on yall hoes!!!"if you would of told me several years ago that i would say that (read the title), i would of loudly refused, rebuked, + declined the notion of that possibility. why? because as much as i love dance + enjoy all of its different styles, i swore up + down that i would never- wait. i need all caps for this... NEVER BY MY OWN FREE WILL would i take ballet. why not? because, it never seem like something for me. i always was a wild + loose spirit + it reflected greatly when i would do hip hop or step during elementary + high school. i looked at ballet as beautiful + elegant, but so structured, stiff, anal, +... those tights... ohGod. lets not get on the tights...<br /><br />come on now. a life size brown toothpick on stage with stockings. yeah, that will be me.<br /><br />that was not whats up on so many levels in the mind of a insecure, skinty (yeah, not skinny. skin-ty.), little black dude. i just didnt want to do it because i thought it was the opposite of how i express myself when i dance.<br /><br />as i grew up + got more deeper into loving dance + appreciating all its forms (i soften up a lil after seeing alvin aliey in the 10th grade... beyond words, inspiring to this very day...) i started wanting to learn modern + jazz (which i still of yet to learn. damn ya, lack of income!) + picking up different moves + techniques from people i met. i still didnt want to be nowhere close to those damn tights through, but i was warming up to the idea of me doin demi-pointe + hittin awe-provoking pirorettes + leaps....<br /><br />well, recently i was told by this guy that i could take 1 free class each friday this month at gotta dance studios in atlanta. they were offering 3 different hip hop classes + 1 beginner ballet class. since i already took a few hip hop classes + danced hip hop for so long i decide to go out of the box + try out ballet. people were telling me that i would be great for ballet + that it would help me out with hip hop + other styles. the control, balance, + strength i would get from taking it up would greatly benefit all of my dancing skills. plus it would make me a more versatile dancer overall. all these pros basically won me over, but of course i had 1 condition: "i dont got to wear tights, right?"<br /><br />so last friday i arrived to the studio + lined up with everyone else along the barres that were laid out in the middle of the floor. standing there a little nervous with my loose cargo pants rolled up + socks on, i looked around the room to see im the only guy. ohyay. so rikki, the instructor which was a tall slender dude, comes in + quickly gets us started with a warm up on the barre. ohhGod i felt so out of freaking place. i was struggling to get my body to do what he said, remember the positions, follow along, + be relaxed + graceful at first. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, back to 1st. point, flex, tendo, pile, cupo, passe, relve, front, side, back. ohjeez, + i had to squeeze the shit outta my thieghs + butt the whole while. i thought i wouldnt be able to freaking boo boo for days after this.<br /><br />i was pushed in that class for real. at one point, we had to point + extend our leg straight foward at a 90degree angle, then lower it + extend it straight to the side 90 degrees, the lower it again, extend to the back 90 degrees, hold it, swing it around slowly to the front then back to the back, then do the reverse... umm, yeah. so i was kind of getting it pretty decent. (thank God for all those times at band camp where we were drilled on marching with pointed toes + 90degree angles. shoutout to columbia high marching eagles band!) rikki is walking around + helping everyone. how about when he gets to me, he takes my left leg (a.k.a. the crappy leg) + raises that bitch up from 85degrees to 132DEGREES, THEN SWINGS MY LEG AROUND FROM THE FRONT TO THE BACK + BACK TO THE FRONT!!! if you are a guy reading this, clearly you can understand when i say sincerely "please pray for my lefty."<br /><br />even with my legs feeling insanely stretched out, my arms throbbing from holding them up for what seem hours, + my theighs + buttcheeks tight as hell from having to hold a small flyer between then while rising + lowering on my toes as an exercise, i still ended up enjoying the class. i loved the challenge of me bettering myself + gaining control of my movements. i was already starting to see myself more aware of how my body moves + work when i would do certain things. plus i noticed that i was improving a little. by the end, rikki told me that i did really great for my 1st time doing ballet. oh+ he did gave me a nice little comment on how high my leg went. lol he wants me to come back for his class again + continue to work on the excerises we did in class. i told i will + i will be back next friday. i really was feeling excellent afterwards (of course, the great accomplishment feeling in my mind was overriding the wearyness feeling on body).<br /><br />so near an hour later as i was laying chin deep in my bathtub at home soaking the aches away, i closed my eyes + visioned myself on my toes dancing across a dance floor, holding a perfect effortless passe into a relve. i was loving it. + it didnt even phase me that i was wearing some black tinted tights in my own little daydream. well, just a little. but i was too exhausted + exhilarated to care. ohhyeah, im about to go twinkletoes on all yall. get ready. oh + pray for my feet + nuts too. ohyeah, that would help much...<br /><br />soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-11973134558929792882008-11-28T18:50:00.000-05:002008-11-28T20:26:37.871-05:00thankful for you + the food.alright, thanksgiving with my family was... quite tasty + hirlarious to say the least. i spent the evening (yeah, we all get together at night + eat. thats how the vaughn clan does it.) at my grandma's house. me, my mom + sis, grandma, my aunties, uncle, + cousins were there bomb rushing a hot small spaced kitchen trying to dig out collard greens, trunip greens (which were off the meter good... thank you mom), dressing, string beans, squash, mac+cheese, chitlins (ugh... lol), corn on the cob, cornish hen, baked turkey wings, ham (we couldnt get a Honey Baked Ham, so my auntie made a "Connie Baked Ham". dont act like you dont know, the resession is still in session...), + much food out of different pots, tin pans, + dishes.<br /><br />as we ate, everyone was wilding out. all my folks were gettting on my mom because she made the mac+cheese this year + it was a lil bit on the dry side. my auntie decided to snatch my mom's wig + parade around the house with it sitting on her head. my other auntie was sneaking me glasses of wine while my uncle is taking crazy pictures of my grandma trying hard not to swear the mess out of him. i was teaching my cousins + sis how to play spoons (spades made be whats up to a lot of people, but it takes some real fye people to throwdown a game of spoons). it was quite fun wrestling + tossing my lil 11 yr old cousin across the room just to grab a dining untensil.<br /><br />i see alot of myself from my relatives, especially from my mom's side of the family. my lighthearted nature, the looneyness. my compassionate + caring nature. its because of these beautiful people that i was blessed to grow around that i am the young man i am today. God knows i am so thankful for these people in my life beacuse without them, i just dont know who i would be....<br /><br />+ its not only them. there are more that shaped the core of my attitude, my outlooks on life, + even guided me to achieve the dreams i hold close. my dad... hmmm. he gave me strength + intregity, + a nice pair of tea brown eyes. even though we dont speak to each other nowadays + our views are two different sights, i cant never say that im not glad that he was a part of my life. his presense in my younger years were felt + i had taking so much wisdom from him. thank you dad. i respect + love you unconditionally.<br /><br />i hope that people spent yesterday with loved ones. people that care + cherish them for being in their lives. oh + also got to get some good take home plates for the next couple of days. lol happy belated thankgiving yall.<br /><br />-soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-47245835409645496472008-11-24T16:19:00.001-05:002008-11-24T16:41:41.291-05:00hopeless dreaming replay.i was going through my old blog on msn spaces (may it rest in gigabyte pieces) + i saw something i wrote a lil while ago. as i re-read what i wrote almost a month ago i notice that it still rings kinda true about how i feel on some goals + aspirations that i wanted to obtain. here is what i wrote:<br /><br /><blockquote>"there are times when i think about my life + the things that i would love to happen to me. its a long list of things, believe me. lol some are things that would just be a nice lil pleasure if i actually experienced it, such as getting to talk to jill scott or visiting tibet (reminder: must update my "places to go to" list). others are just on-a-whim-of-a-care kinda thing, jumping in a pool of lemon jello, streaking, those kinds of things. but then there are some that are like a "must do, must see, must be" kind of thing. i got to make this happen for me because i desire it so much. it feels as if i was meant to go down that certain route + experience it. but of course, actuality drops its reality check + turn my goals into far off fairy tale dreams that i can only sigh under. some i had to put away for a while. some, i dont even have control over. + other just fade into the back of my head. i dont know. i wonder if some things are really meant to happen to me. am i suppose to have this? is this a goal for ME? or should i just continue to hold on to my blindly optimistic hopes. sometimes i think i should give it up. hoping, i mean. but i know i couldnt. its like just knowin- feeling that something is so right, so perfect, so in tune + in accordance with you... perfect fit of a dream. but sometimes i realize that there is a big problem. thats all i do... dream... God help a brotha with this one. til the next time..."<br /><br />-"hopeless dreaming" 102-42-008 dWjb<br /></blockquote><br />nowadays im more sure that certain things happen for a reason. sometimes doors are closed on opportunities for the better + windows are opened. with some things i have to take charge + seek it full heartedly. others i have to wait til the time is right for me. there is reasons for everything i believe. i know God has a plan. it might not be as i thought it would be + it might not be like everyone elses, but it will be in my favor in the end. i know it. i feel it.<br /><br />peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-31321937064700199852008-11-23T18:58:00.000-05:002008-11-24T00:55:44.075-05:00i been poked- wait, wrong website. tagged!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip6FuDCJ10Dt3PLinwMfDsftYChH14Vm2WMBEXwpFTKyp88U8OgJ0E4FNo4gzhWM4vJIPjHlex-NbedgUaTHqDq8e1TX3K1tz3c7vvKZKjk4QTIkH3T6Su6NznKCI_NJsdvZUpL0BWTsLh/s320/tag.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 275px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip6FuDCJ10Dt3PLinwMfDsftYChH14Vm2WMBEXwpFTKyp88U8OgJ0E4FNo4gzhWM4vJIPjHlex-NbedgUaTHqDq8e1TX3K1tz3c7vvKZKjk4QTIkH3T6Su6NznKCI_NJsdvZUpL0BWTsLh/s320/tag.jpg" border="0" /></a> a little while ago, i was "tagged" by BrothersBlog. i was going to type the rules but... well, jeez. i didnt feel like it. call me lazy, its just being resourceful i think. lol basically i got to tell you 7 random +/or weird things about myself + froward the tag to 7 people. ohjoy... lol<br /><p>1. im from decatur, born + raised. not a grady baby, not a piedmont child, no dekalb med kid. i was born in decatur, in my house, in the bathroom. + naw, i am not a "toilet" or "sh!t" baby. lol</p><p>2. im a performing arts freak. dance is a deep passion of mine that i love to do. hip hop is the style i know best, but im aiming towards learning others such as contemporary, african, b-boy, latin, ballet... about all of them. i love theatre. i have been a part of a few skits, plays, + improv. oh + physical comedy... classic. last but never least, music... life reflects music indeed to me. my taste in music is real ecletric, but my favorite is soul music from the past + now.</p><p>3. in the back of my mind, i would like to have a siberian husky, a ferret, a spider monkey, + a lil family of squirrels. sadly, my luck with pets, + some plants, have been... kinda slightly fatal... WHY DOES EVERYTHING I TOUCH WITHERS + DIES?!?!?!</p><p>4. im in school to become an educator, wishfully at my old high school alma mater. why do i want to deal with these so-called "smart mouth, bad-ass, think-they-grown kids"? well, i believe these young men + ladies are the next generation of lawyers, teachers, atheles, activists, musicians, + other pillars of our communities. i want to help bring knowledge + hope to them, keep them striving to achieve + reach their highest potential in their passions in life. </p><p>5. my mind goes "phhhwwssssss..." at times. yeah, i have my spaz-out periods, who doesnt? maybe its the a.d.d. kid in me but i do go into my own lil world at times. its nice there. they have an everflowing fountain of cranberry juice + gummi bears... quite nice.</p><p>6. lately i have been obsessed with "high school musical 3". i took my sis to see it a while back + i ended up loving it. like i said earlier, i love theatre, including musical theater, + i just got caught up in all the choreography + music. its the fyeness... well, to me, at least... i must work with kenny ortega (the director) one day. i will be on "high school musical 5"!!! </p><p>7. i got a plan for an escape... "i'll go break his neck..." lol i love my sis. </p><p>now that thats out the way, i choose... </p><p>Nik - <a href="http://thehustlesofnik.blogspot.com/">http://thehustlesofnik.blogspot.com/</a></p><p>Malika - <a href="http://accordingtomalika.blogspot.com/">http://accordingtomalika.blogspot.com/</a></p><p>Ms. Cali Brwn - <a href="http://amberileene.blogspot.com/">http://amberileene.blogspot.com/</a></p><p>Ms.Hopeful - <a href="http://mzhopeful.blogspot.com/">http://mzhopeful.blogspot.com/</a></p><p>BronxStateOfMind - <a href="http://bronxstateofmind.blogspot.com/">http://bronxstateofmind.blogspot.com/</a> </p><p>well im done. now time to lie down. lada everyone! peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWin</p>the 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-47374512952196945232008-11-23T16:44:00.000-05:002008-11-23T18:32:51.985-05:00hunt for an income, part II, + more...i hate group interviews, passionately right now. i have had 2 interviews in this format in the past 2 weeks for 2 clothing stores for a seasonal position. i would find myself surrounded with other job hungry folks, about 6-9 people, as a hiring manager would try to get to know ALL of us + our skills + work ethics in a matter of 60 minutes. im not comfortable in this kind of environment. feels like all of the applicants are forced to play the "outshine everyone else by anymeans neccessary" game, which is understandable because companies want the best people. but i start feeling the pressure when we all got to race to belt out the best anwser to questions. it puts a serious competitive vibe to the interview process. then let there be 2 or 3 folks that seems waaay more quailified than anyone else... i wasnt shaken by them easily, but after showing all of my best assets + stating how i can benefit the company, i still felt like i was fighting a battle i already lost. i already didnt like one of the stores to begin with... the things i would do for an income right now... DAMN YA MONEY!!<br /><br />i hope that my best friend/sister chrissy is doing well. she is stuck that home on bedrest for a while. i went + visited her with some friends yesterday since i havent seen her in a good minute. we watched the unneccessay dramatics of "the real housewives of atlanta"... jeez, the only powerhouse person on there is lisa. i got to give her props because she is married to a very weathly guy but not living on his money. she got her own successful + thriving business + is not moved by the glitz + fame of elite socialism. seem like a real cool lady. quite nice. anyway, i had a blast with all my friends last night. just straight ridiculious. we got to do it again. must plan the excape... *smiles*<br /><br />im about to hit up this open mic at this corner coffeeshop called javamonkey tonight. its been a while since i been to an open mic. im not going to read today, just taking in the creativity + let my mind soak it all in. i need to get back to writing my writins soon. the last writin i did was last month + i know i got a lot more to say about a couple more things. its just not flowing out of me right at the moment. it will come soon. i'll let you know... lol lada days. peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-80153229203840889032008-11-12T16:45:00.000-05:002008-11-12T18:29:41.365-05:00"will work WELL for money, so hire me damnit!"i need a job- wait. change that. i been needing a job. i am quite tired of my income depending on my family. quite very tired indeed. i want to be able provide for myself again like i used to + be able to help out my mom. not my sis though. she too busy buying sugar crap + egging me on to get her a blackberry phone. this 11 year old wants a smartphone. i told her she needs to phone herself to school + learn. ohjeez. i am my mother's child.<br /><br />so lately i done resumed my job hunt full force since my fall semester in school is almost done. i got my resumes printed out (at least 10 copies on deck wherever i go. this is serious!), traveling around in shirt, slacks, + tie (all starched + pressed... serious!!), popping my head in anywhere i see a decent place of labor (now i aint gon just work any flimsy dark-hole-in-the-wall where... hah! it aint that serious.). i will be working my bum off somewhere!<br /><br />but you know what? its a hard knock life for us job hunters that are just looking for a good seasonal or long term part-time job. well, at least for me. heres a few things that making the employment hunt depressing:<br /><br />1. asking for an application + hearing them say that we just finished hiring for this year YESTERDAY.<br />2. asking for an application + seeing that this woman is clearly tired of folks asking her that same qeustion over again.<br />3. calling your former supervisor about working seasonal + they WONT answer the phone for nothing + decides to go ghost for a MONTH.<br />4. filling out the same information on an application over + over... + over... + over... + ov- ugh, you get my gist.<br />5. GOIN' ALL THE WAY OUT CROSS THE OTHA SIDE OF TOWN TO A FREAKIN' JOB FAIR THAT ONLY HAD 2 BUSINESSES THERE THAT YOU CANT DO ANYTHING WITH!!! DAMN YA, COBB GALLERIA + DIVERSITYJOBFAIR!!<br />6. writing down on my work experience the job that i stayed at for only two months... it was time conflicts... dont even laugh chrissy...<br />7. not knowing why i dont get a job.<br /><br />im grudging on though. i feel like i am a hard worker + could be a valuble employee anywhere i am placed at. im trying to show these employers how dedicated + useful i can be but it feels like its not shining through because im not getting hired or any response. is it my resume? is my experience not enough? was i talking too little or too much? was it the color of my shirt?<br /><br />i have a lot of things that i want to get accomplished + its going to take a lil more than will, time, + determination. yeah, ima need some dough... so i got to get a job + soon. oh + while we on the subject, i would like to announce the start of my new foundation:<br /><br /><div align="center"><blockquote><div align="center">H.A.B.A.D.O., Inc.<br />Help A Broke Ass Dude Out, Incorporated</div><div align="center"><br />*flim plays sad music in the background + show me standing outside of a wendys, looking sad. * "for just 107cents a day, this man can be able to walk into this resturant + purchase a 5pc chicken nugget (no frosty included, sause 34cents extra)..."</div></blockquote></div>-ohjeez, let me stop. hah! yall hope for a brotha. peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-57842070988822261982008-11-10T22:52:00.000-05:002008-11-11T12:16:37.354-05:00good guy gone- hah! not me.im riding the marta train + heading for school this morning. when i reach my stop, which is the last stop on the line, i get up + head to the door. i noticed two guys walking in front of me looking at this elderly sleeping on one of the seats still + chuckling to themselves off the train. i thought that this could be her stop possibly, so i went to her, lightly tapped her shoulder, + said "miss, we're at the last stop." she opens her eyes, glares up at me, + snaps out a gumpy/sleepy "so." i smiled lightly + said "i didn't know whether or no-". "leave me alone!!!" she screeched back with much anger, so i left + slipped on my smiling face.<br /><br />now im far from a full pledged wings + halo saint. it did flash in my head to utter a few unnecessary words to myself outside of the train, kinda along the lines of "tired-out, raggle-ass, ungrateful, dusty bitch", just because i was trying to be a kind guy + she talks to me like im crap on a toilet seat. but i let it go + thought "i dont know her. she dont know me. she could be going through a rough time at that moment + just trying to get through the best way she know how to."<br /><br />still it stings that i attempt to be a good helpful person + it seem like no one cares for it. aint the 1st time, wont be the last. i cant help to want to help at times. thinking of others was something instilled in me at a young age + it always made me feel good to know i made someone feel better about their day. but i sometimes wonder how far i can go being the "kind guy" in a dog-eat-dog, ima-step-on-ya-face-to-get-where-i-wanna-be, kinda world. i always thought that politics + corporate businesses was not my thing because of the cut-throat mentality i would hear as being needed to survive + make it to the top.<br /><br />ironically, i was reading this book i been carrying around with me called "make it happen: the hip hop generation guide to success" by kevin liles, former president of def jam records + current executive vice president of warner music group. it tell of 10 rules that he believe will get any person to reach their potenial + their goals in life. he uses examples from not only his life, but from other successful figures of the past + today. what made the book meaningful after today's little episode began with me reading rule 7: get connected. it talked of building relationships "to last forever because success in business depends on positive human interaction". these were some of the things i read that really stood out to me:<br /><br /><blockquote>"Goodwill is golden. Do someone a good deed and it comes back, even if it doesn't always follow a straight line. Some people call it karma. I call it psychology. People want to feel respected. Its that simple."<br /><br />"Donald Trump says in his book <em>How to Get Rich</em> that if you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. Respectfully, I disagree. When you have them by the heart, you control how much blood is pumping through the rest of the body."<br /><br />"...It's a dog-eat-dog world. But that's all the more reason why you shouldn't be that way. The less you are like the rest of the rats in the race, the more you will stand out."<br /><br />-"make it happen: the hip hop generation guide to success" - kevin liles<br /></blockquote>hmmm, maybe there is hope the a lil kind dude like me... peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6681370134255402947.post-92125165777571524962008-11-07T15:18:00.000-05:002008-11-09T01:48:53.872-05:00bittersweet goodness calling.out of nowhere friday, i got a call from a former lover of mine. if you wondering, this is the same person i was talking about in "let me be there." lets call her "dory" for the moment. we talked as if its been ages, probably becuase it has been. well, at least to me. we caught up on everything, school, work, life, everything + everybody, everybody we did everything with, all that nice stuff. lol even though we used to go together, we are cool with talking about the different people that we were interested in.<br /><br />while i was telling dory about the people i have gotten to know, it reminded me of how none of them were like her. i know no two people are similar, but no one has been able to make a deep move on my heart like dory. if only the world could understand it... sometimes i barely believe it myself, but she was the best. she is now the prototype. she set the bar to how i feel someone should be loved. full hearted emotionally. without any doubt unconditionally. connected spiritually. she appreciated the person i was + at the same time moved me to want to be a better person.<br /><br />anyway, as im telling her how i feel, i let her know that none of the others have my heart like her. the sweet thing that made me smile on the other end of the phone was that she tells me the same. she says that its not the same with the other guys she has met. im the only guy she could really trust. i was her safe place. she thought i was so pure in spirit, full of love, + that i was always there for her no matter what went down around us. she knew that i cared for her beyond anything + she was thankful for being in my life.<br /><br />dory also started talking about how she felt foolish for letting our relationship go, but also felt that it was for good reason, that we were only meant to be together for so long. our love had a deeper purpose, a lesson to be discovered by the both of us. i sometimes feel that way too, like maybe there is some greater plan for us + this was only a pebble of a stepping stone in our lives.<br /><br />all i can say is that i love her. always as a friends, in my heart as my love. i still will love her years from now. i will move on 1 day + love others, no doubt. but it may not be as great. mos.def wont be the same. + thats why everything is such a bittersweet moment nowadays whenever i hear her voice, because i know the call has to end some time... peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWinthe 3rd tWinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15301445102027091573noreply@blogger.com2