texting random thoughts.

ever since i upgraded + got me a new phone in june, i been typing- texting- whatever; i been putting down little random thoughts in my notepad. some are sweet + simple:

if ya r an inch away from the bus stop, the bus driver will believe ya 2b non-existin + zoom pass ya wavin hands.

its sad almost everyone thought ciara look ridiculious on the bet awards, sounded out of tune, + was confused at who she was at the beginnin of her performace. sadder tha i agree. well, she tried.

others are a little more close to home with experiences of myself + my friends:

i wonder if anyone else undastands we all hurt + tha maybe we r dealin w/ the weight of our own baggage.

im grinnin uncontrollably + it was from the simple whisper of ya name crossin my mind...

there has been 1 in particular that i keep coming back to on several different moments because it feels so true. at least, in reference to myself:

...the words we give each otha r mostly 4 our own usage, yet the easiest advice 2 give is the hardest 4 ourselves 2 follow.

i want to know have anyone else felt that way? you talk to a friend, a family member, a stranger, a puppy, whoever or whatever in the world you communicated with; you let them know how you feel about their situation/action/feelings/thoughts/wishes + in the back of your head you say to yourself "i need someone to tell these words to me". you reflect back on your experiences + wonder if you should take a step in a new direction or caution yourself from something troublesome. i wonder also, had you ever NOT follow your own advise + wish you did? let your random thoughts fly...

-soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWin

lettin' go!... on my way to work. ugh.

i just woke up a while ago with the sunlight reaching through my window + brushing my cheek lightly. i took a look outside + the scene looked so inviting: an open blue sky with skims of clouds swimming above + the birds flying from trees to flowers over streams of concrete + steel cars. i was ready to explore. my skin was craving to feel the daylight envelope me in its warmth. i was ready.

but then i remembered that i had to wash + iron my clothes so i can get to the bus stop in time to start my 1 1/2 hour commute to work where i stay enslaved, standing in a 10x10ft circular kiosk for hours at a time selling $200 sunglasses to people who demands a 80% discount, trys on every pair in the store then decides to "think about it" + never return, or have faces that are "rilpey's believe it or not!" worthy. ohthejoy. ahh well, guess thats how it goes for the moment. would be nice to pretend today that work was just some old boring high school class you coud easily skip from, but i know better. my hours will count on that check i will be getting so... where's my tie + my black dress socks? i gotta get a move on.

but for the ferris bueller in me + anyone else that rather not go to work today, this song is for us...


-soulfuly yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWin

just a few little bitty changes.

salutations! naw, i never left. just the usual 2 million years absense due to busyness + lazyness. but things have been happenning. a lot. lets see if i can give out a quick update...

• i been blessed to find not just 1, not just 2, but 3 JOBS. im a sign spinner (go youtube if you have no idea what it is. the best way to understand it is to see it.), a survey analysis recruiter/interveiwer (basically, im 1 of those annoying people that stop you in the mall to give ya a survey.), + i am a sales associate at sunglass hut international (need those new prada aviators or those chanel shields? i got ya!). so needless to say, i offically now have an income. I AINT BROKE NO MORE!!! *smiles*
• i really gotten a sense of my spirituality these past months. + its kinda crazy because... well, thats a long story for another day but to cut it short (+ im trying chrissy, im trying!! *laughs*), my past with religion been one with struggle + confusion + hurt. but im starting to understand. i been happier than i have been completely with Him for a long while. its deep. again, long story for another day.
• i turned 22 on june the 8th. whoo! i didnt do much that particular day (i actually worked), but for some reason the whole month of june felt like a celebration to me. from trips to florida to just riding the train on a sunny day, im so thankful i been able to experience all these wonderful things. oh + yeah. i did it. i went to a mc donalds + climbed my ass all up + through the playpen. 22 years old + i still act like im 12. gotta love it.
• i never planned on it happenning, but im back in a relationship. + its been a wonderful 13 days so far- yeah, we do week anniversaries! *laughs* we both are big old kids enjoying our time + company together. im thankful for my "anjel".

thats most of the big things things thats been going on. of course there are some moments inbetween (trip to ft. pirece, fl, buying condoms for my 15 year old cousin, my auntie naye naye's 80s themed party where some big 35 year old lady was bouncing in a split, falling asleep on the train, gettin hit on by random white girls at the mall, me almost throwing a rack at a customer, making midnight trips to quik trip for shushies, dancing all night + all day, running through fountains, watching my other sister out-do my mom in doing the "stanky leg" properly, having random people throw objects at me, conversing about the importance of pretty underwear, court citations, people losing money + ids repecitiously, death sprinting around atlanta...), + all of these times just makes life more interesing each day. what a crazy/beautiful wonderful world.

-soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWin

im gonna hope i do something big like its 2009.

wow... i aint been on here for a little while. i would say that its because i been uber busy running, chuckling, + grinning from one thing to the next. i really would because in a way its true. so much has went down since mid-december, but jeez i know the dealio. my lazy bum self just hasnt got on here + typed my heart out. maybe its the kick-back, lay-back holiday effect on me... naw, im just a lazy bum at times + thats got to cease this year.

you know where this is about to lead to. yeah, yeah its new years. well, 9 days past of new years, but we in the new year none the less + mostly everyone is all on the whole "its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me" state of mind (excuse me if i got the lyrics mixed up. i love that song though.). i sort of gave up on that whole idea of a brand spanking new year brings forth the magical power of simple, constant growth + easy, simple change. just because we switch that last yearly digit up one notch does not mean that everything will be different + new under the sun. some things dont change overnight or over years. well, at least not with just new year hopes alone.

even though i do bump away the thought of making resolutions, i am dreaming for some changes. the list in my brain is miles long + world wide believe me, + most of it is me. i still need to sit down + actually write it out, but i havent done it yet because either my mind is shooting off of 8 different thoughts at once or my body is moving to 3 places at once or IM JUST FRICKIN' LAZY AT TIMES!!! yeah, something must be done because i know that there is more to my life than where im at right now. i can literally see that shit clear as the letters on my keyboard. well, dont count the Q button, theres some gunk on there. i need to scratch off. ewww... umm anyway, i need a change from this cycle i been circling around for ages + i guess thats why that one midnight 9 nights ago seem so promising to me + a billion more. it says thats we starting anew, its a clean canvas to etch the view of our lives however we want to. i just need to pick up my freaking brushes + paint instead of letting it gather dust. lol well, heres the the new year.

oh crap yeah. dont laugh, but happy belated holidays, merry belated birthdays, happy prelated mlk day in case i miss it + it be belated, happy belated new years- wait, does that even makes sense? oh whatever. happy happy joy joy yall. lol

soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWin

"im bout to go twinkletoes on yall hoes!!!"

if you would of told me several years ago that i would say that (read the title), i would of loudly refused, rebuked, + declined the notion of that possibility. why? because as much as i love dance + enjoy all of its different styles, i swore up + down that i would never- wait. i need all caps for this... NEVER BY MY OWN FREE WILL would i take ballet. why not? because, it never seem like something for me. i always was a wild + loose spirit + it reflected greatly when i would do hip hop or step during elementary + high school. i looked at ballet as beautiful + elegant, but so structured, stiff, anal, +... those tights... ohGod. lets not get on the tights...

come on now. a life size brown toothpick on stage with stockings. yeah, that will be me.

that was not whats up on so many levels in the mind of a insecure, skinty (yeah, not skinny. skin-ty.), little black dude. i just didnt want to do it because i thought it was the opposite of how i express myself when i dance.

as i grew up + got more deeper into loving dance + appreciating all its forms (i soften up a lil after seeing alvin aliey in the 10th grade... beyond words, inspiring to this very day...) i started wanting to learn modern + jazz (which i still of yet to learn. damn ya, lack of income!) + picking up different moves + techniques from people i met. i still didnt want to be nowhere close to those damn tights through, but i was warming up to the idea of me doin demi-pointe + hittin awe-provoking pirorettes + leaps....

well, recently i was told by this guy that i could take 1 free class each friday this month at gotta dance studios in atlanta. they were offering 3 different hip hop classes + 1 beginner ballet class. since i already took a few hip hop classes + danced hip hop for so long i decide to go out of the box + try out ballet. people were telling me that i would be great for ballet + that it would help me out with hip hop + other styles. the control, balance, + strength i would get from taking it up would greatly benefit all of my dancing skills. plus it would make me a more versatile dancer overall. all these pros basically won me over, but of course i had 1 condition: "i dont got to wear tights, right?"

so last friday i arrived to the studio + lined up with everyone else along the barres that were laid out in the middle of the floor. standing there a little nervous with my loose cargo pants rolled up + socks on, i looked around the room to see im the only guy. ohyay. so rikki, the instructor which was a tall slender dude, comes in + quickly gets us started with a warm up on the barre. ohhGod i felt so out of freaking place. i was struggling to get my body to do what he said, remember the positions, follow along, + be relaxed + graceful at first. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, back to 1st. point, flex, tendo, pile, cupo, passe, relve, front, side, back. ohjeez, + i had to squeeze the shit outta my thieghs + butt the whole while. i thought i wouldnt be able to freaking boo boo for days after this.

i was pushed in that class for real. at one point, we had to point + extend our leg straight foward at a 90degree angle, then lower it + extend it straight to the side 90 degrees, the lower it again, extend to the back 90 degrees, hold it, swing it around slowly to the front then back to the back, then do the reverse... umm, yeah. so i was kind of getting it pretty decent. (thank God for all those times at band camp where we were drilled on marching with pointed toes + 90degree angles. shoutout to columbia high marching eagles band!) rikki is walking around + helping everyone. how about when he gets to me, he takes my left leg (a.k.a. the crappy leg) + raises that bitch up from 85degrees to 132DEGREES, THEN SWINGS MY LEG AROUND FROM THE FRONT TO THE BACK + BACK TO THE FRONT!!! if you are a guy reading this, clearly you can understand when i say sincerely "please pray for my lefty."

even with my legs feeling insanely stretched out, my arms throbbing from holding them up for what seem hours, + my theighs + buttcheeks tight as hell from having to hold a small flyer between then while rising + lowering on my toes as an exercise, i still ended up enjoying the class. i loved the challenge of me bettering myself + gaining control of my movements. i was already starting to see myself more aware of how my body moves + work when i would do certain things. plus i noticed that i was improving a little. by the end, rikki told me that i did really great for my 1st time doing ballet. oh+ he did gave me a nice little comment on how high my leg went. lol he wants me to come back for his class again + continue to work on the excerises we did in class. i told i will + i will be back next friday. i really was feeling excellent afterwards (of course, the great accomplishment feeling in my mind was overriding the wearyness feeling on body).

so near an hour later as i was laying chin deep in my bathtub at home soaking the aches away, i closed my eyes + visioned myself on my toes dancing across a dance floor, holding a perfect effortless passe into a relve. i was loving it. + it didnt even phase me that i was wearing some black tinted tights in my own little daydream. well, just a little. but i was too exhausted + exhilarated to care. ohhyeah, im about to go twinkletoes on all yall. get ready. oh + pray for my feet + nuts too. ohyeah, that would help much...

soulfully yours, peace+luv 4eva, the 3rd tWin