sweet bitter thrill

sweet bitter thrill


In less than 6 hours,
I proven how insane I could be
To throw caution to the side +
Fling through corkscrews, loops, + dives.
Hands up, eyes wide bright,
Yelling with all the power + joy
Of a coaster junkie wild child
That’s surrendering himself into the rush willingly.
Let the butterflies fly free from my stomach
To the top of my lungs as I watch the earth above me
Spin out of my control.
Ponder if this lap bar can keep my twig of a body
From being hurled mercilessly from the train
Into the roof of a Florida skyline
+ plummet 120mph into the next door water park.

That would be the fyeness.
They should make a ride like that.

I live for the tinge + how it crinkles up my blood
Right when the coaster car tilts towards the lake’s surface
+ catapults over the awing eyes of fellow thrill seekers,
Bag holders, Chicken Georges +Georginas,
Probably thinking “Who is that screaming like Mariah Carey?”

I have a high pitched manly shrill, that’s all.

Yes, take me to flight.
Dangle me over 250ft of track.
Slam me without care until I can’t feel the electric pull of my
Arm hairs standing in unbelievable shock.
Thrill me baby, rock me to a nirvana of adrenaline
Because in those short 6 hours,
I drifted to a sweetest high.

+ later that same evening,
After 36 minutes + 15 seconds
I realized how weak I could be
To shatter my face + let my heart flow a stream of lonely tears
At the understanding that I had to repeat those words on the phone again.
“I miss ya baby.
Good night.
I’ll see ya sooner than lada.
Go ahead + dream.
I’ll meet ya there real soon…”

Then you reply with words of your stretched out, longing arms
+ a bittersweet farewell as well as
A promise that I’ll hear your voice again in the light of the next day.

I couldn’t find the strength to push the END button.
I didn’t want to go through another night apart by hours,
Separated by state lines + measures of days + days + days
Turning into endless text questioning of
“wha ya up 2?”, “how work goin?”, “havin a great time?”.
But none beat the scariest three words I come to
Close my eyes when it comes to spill across my tongue…

“I miss ya“
After we pick “ennie mennie, minnie moe” choose a spot +
Off we go to some random adventurous sightseeing.
“I miss ya”
After we done ventured out through city streets
Under electric starriness to the pulse of Atlanta nightlife.
“I miss ya”
After we explored trails along the hills, cuddled on sides of
Bridges + water fountains, under trees + on benches.
“I miss ya”
After we re-remember how so sublime it feels when we
Come together at the finger tips + tender lips + passionate hips.
“I miss ya”
After you nearly had me on the brink of fulfilling my goal of
Going streaking through the Olympic water fountain rings.
“I miss ya”
After I tingle in my cheeks at the snug hum of you singing
“…still there’s no place I’d rather be, cuz nothing really matters to me…”
“I miss ya”
After I take another look at your picture + imagine back to the
Another evening I was granted a chance to look into your eyes,
Even if it was for such a short time.
Every little thrill lasts such a short time
+ I dread how this bliss could be so cruel,
Toy with my eyes this thought of pure forever in pleasure
Only to blink +see its time to leave you.
“I miss ya”
After all been joked + said over phone lines
+ the lone company of silence we keep while afar starts to converse
of the good times only us 2 can birth within each others’ presence.

Yes, I feel so good when you just stand in front of me
+ I can speechlessly look at God through you.
To be in the same space as you is an intense zero g
Weightless effect for what going on for near seamless moments
But damnit for having to come back down to earth…

+ that’s why I live for the rush of you baby
Because after those 36 minutes + 15 seconds on the phone
+ another extra 4 minutes + 19 seconds after I called back to
Hear your voice 1 more time,
The excitement will subside
+ a thrill junkie like me just can’t survive on down time for so long.

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